How to not leave your investments and wealth at risk.

If you are a traveler like I am, you always hear the flight attendant say in her safety announcement that “you must put the oxygen mask on yourself before helping others”. This is a way to look at creating a prenuptial agreement before putting those wedding bands on. You must always put yourself first and protect all of your wealth that you have worked so hard. Even if you do not have anything to your name, you must still do it!

Trust me when I say, the day I get engaged my lawyer will be my first call the next day. Not my great aunts in Mexico. I will be letting her know that I am happily engaged and will need to get an appointment set up to start the process of creating my prenuptial agreement. I would expect my future husband to so the same, if he doesn’t I may have to rethink this whole marriage thing.

Just like everyone else who gets married, the goal is to have it be my only marriage. But I am not a pendeja and know very well I have a 50/50 chance that it may not work out. I am also fully aware that humans evolve overtime. I am not going to accept inappropriate behavior such as cheating, domestic violence, controlling actions or lies, even though my Latinx culture tells me to tolerate such behavior.

If the marriage goes south, I will have legal documentation saying that what I came into the marriage with or what I created for myself is also what I walk away with. I can put whatever other agreements in that prenup that I see fit.

I have a very close friend who got married and thought it was forever, the marriage went south and because he wasn’t a hard working individual. After months of fighting in court she had to give in and give him her entire 401k savings for the past 25 years! That is 25 years of compound interest for retirement that she will never get back. She had to start all over, while he and his new beau live in a new house and are sitting pretty. There was another story I read in Cosmopolitan is one that has stuck with me forever. A struggling author married in her 20’s, long story short, by her 30’s she became successful and her marriage went south. They ended up filing for divorce and because she had a very successful 2 years earlier and was put on the New York Best Sellers List. She made a nice income after years of struggling. Well, the husband made it a point during the time in court and the judge sided in his favor. She had to pay him alimony!!! She said that she was living in a studio apartment struggling, while she has to find a way to pay the court ordered alimony and he and his new young girlfriend were living the high life.

If you are already married and are a Chingona with investments or a business, you are allowed to get a post-nuptial agreement as well. The goal is to protect your hard work and efforts that you put in your finances and wealth. If your partner is not willing to sign the agreement, you can explain to them that this is one of the truest forms of love. They are marrying you because they want you, not your wealth, investments, or anything else other than your companionship. I have had these conversations with my boyfriend and he understands how our relationship is grounded on companionship. I have said to him and everyone else, “I am not with him because I need him. I am with him because I want to be with him.”

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